...MILEY CYRUS. They explained this INTERESTING selection by saying that Miley's duet with ROBIN THICKE at the "VMAs" was the most watched video on their websites . . . and that the MTV web page devoted to Miley had more hits than any other artist's. You heard that right . . . MTV named Miley the "Artist" of the Year, partially BECAUSE of her completely artless performance at the "VMAs". Let's hope this was just an OBJECTIVE honor based on Internet traffic. For what it's worth, MTV's Artist of the Year in 2012 was ONE DIRECTION, and KATY PERRY was their selection the year before that. So, you know, they aren't exactly looking for a modern day BOB DYLAN or anything.
Dear Josh and Sue,
About six months ago, my girlfriend lost her job, and she's been having a tough time finding a new one. Since she's kind of struggling, I'm only going to get her practical stuff she actually needs for Christmas. I got her a new vacuum . . . a gift card so she can get new tires for her car . . . and a year of free oil changes. Is it lame to get people practical Christmas gifts instead of fancy things . . . like iPads? Why do I feel like I'm going to be in trouble for this?
Naturally, Josh and I did not agree on this... I say, sure, be thankful for everything you receive, but birthdays and Christmas aren't the time for "practical". How 'bout a small personal thing? Josh says she ought to be happy with these gifts and if she's not she should be kicked to the curb. Thoughts?
We've got the results here of three new studies you should REALLY like. Here are three surprising things science now believes are GOOD FOR YOU . . .
1. Self-Lovin'. A new study from the University of Sydney in Australia has found that vigorously fondling yourself can fight all sorts of illnesses, including cervical infections and urinary tract infections for women, and prostate cancer for men. They also found it lowers the risk of developing diabetes, can help treat insomnia, and can fight depression. (Daily Mail)
2. Alcohol. A study out of Tel Aviv University in Israel has found that a reasonable amount of alcohol can lead to a longer life. They found caffeine has the OPPOSITE effect and might even shorten your life. (Opposing Views) RELATED COMEDY: A new study says caffeine shortens your life, while alcohol lengthens it. It all evens out for me, since my cup of java is half Bailey's.
3. Not Texting People Back. It's modern phone etiquette to text people back quickly, but maybe you shouldn't. A new study found people who train themselves to ignore their phone when it buzzes or makes an alert are HAPPIER. People who are able to relax and not constantly check their phones had less anxiety and stress than people who are always monitoring new messages. (Daily Mail)
What's the most embarrassing thing you've ever caught your kid doing? Like, that thing that was SO BAD no one's really ever talked about it since? Here are six of the best answers we've heard . . .
1. "My two-year-old son was on the couch, totally naked, eating Frosted Flakes. I looked over and saw he was rubbing the Frosted Flakes on his private parts then eating them. When I told him to stop, he started doing it even faster."
2. "My parents told me when I was two, in a hotel with my grandparents, my grandfather took a shower and dropped his towel to dry his hair. I ran up, grabbed his scrotum, and shouted, 'Wobble wobble wobble.'"
3. "My boys were homeschooled. When they were six and eight, we were covering the ancient Greek Olympics. I walked in on them recreating it . . . fully nude, drenched in my massage oil, wrestling. It wasn't at all sexual, but still."
4. "I walked in on my 10-year-old son humping a plush Shamu."
5. "My kid found my maxi pads, opened all of them, stripped naked, and made a body suit by sticking the pads all over himself."
6. "I was bathing my four-year-old son and three-year-old daughter together. I stepped out of the room. When I came back, they were trying to figure out how she could pass gas in the tub so he could catch the bubbles in his mouth."